A-                          E               A-
I once owned and operated a beard accessory store
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A beard accessory store
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Business it was booming at my beard accessory store
   F       G       A-
My beard accessory store
         C              G
But then people started shaving
    C                G
And business started waning
      F       E       A-
At my beard accessory store

    A-                             E               A-
The landlord came a knockin' at my beard accessory store
   F       G       A-
My beard accessory store
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Said I was evicted from my beard accessory store
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My beard accessory store
   C                 G
He said that beard accessories
     C           G
Were no longer necessities
            F     E         A-
And shut my beard accessory store

A-                       E                   A-
So I lured my landlord inside and locked the door
      F       G       A-
Of my beard accessory store
                                   E                  A-
I can’t say what I did to him, but it was against the law
      F       G       A-
At my beard accessory store
        C                    G
And now I’ve long since left town
    C              G
The body was never found
      F                  E             A-
And I don’t sell beard accessories any more